- ‘Mediating with Families’ 3rd Edition – Linda Fisher & Meike Brandon
Relationship systems are complex in nature. Each party brings to the relationship their own set of values, beliefs and unique perspective that have been generated from their life experiences thus far. Therefore, each individual will give meaning to any given situation drawing from their own life experiences. This can become a volatile variable when meaning is placed on the intention of the other, without fully checking out the validity of your meaning with the other. One can also argue if you are not showing up in your difference, then are you indeed having a relationship?
Relationship difficulties can also emerge when one or both parties tend to avoid conflict. This driver of ‘conflict avoidance’ prevents the individual from expressing their own perspective, belief and/or value on any situation with their spouse, friend and/or work colleague. This is often due to an imagined fear of igniting conflict, yet ironically, this avoidance process of relating usually ignites the conflict they set about avoiding.
Conflict avoidance is an adaptive style of relating with others. It is usually generated over the lifespan of experience as a survival mechanism to live life with minimal hurt and harm.
Both Ron and Beverley have extensive experience in the area of relationship issues. We can assist you with identifying the differing emerging needs that may generate between you, along with the values that are important to each of you. We are also committed to providing skills training and psychoeducation to assist in the development of your self-efficacy which includes an understanding of difference. Overtime, it is hoped this will enable you to show up in your relationship in a way that you can support yourself in your difference.